The Alchemist Diaries

“Where should I start? I texted my old Jiko this question, and she wrote back this: 現在地で始まるべき. You should start where you are.” ― Ruth Ozeki, A Tale for the Time Being

            I am shaking with overstimulation.

            After an eclectic and chaotic month of teaching, emotional professional clashes, mass shootings, political assassinations, and an inconvenient cold, I am trembling with exhaustion and disorientation. I have been in this hurricane of turmoil before, so I am knowledgeable about what has to be done to keep myself alive and well. However, I am also aware that the remedies I used in the past―keeping busy, feverishly blogging, and hustling―are losing efficacy. A new era is emerging for not only my homeland, but also my personal life. I am on the cusp of quitting blogging… as I know it.

            It has been an emotional decision because I kept my original blog Homestyle Alchemy alive for over seven years. I enjoyed temporary growth until the age of Learning Language Models, artificial images, and petty algorithms. I adore blogging and everything I have learned that has enriched my experience over nearly a decade. However, blogging is not the same. Sharing is not the same. The landscape has shifted from free form journaling and imperfect experiences to Search Engine Optimization and perfectly curated aesthetics. Chasing down the mandatory corporate needs of the latter has burned me out and deterred me from my original artistic goals: raw beauty through experiences and human connections.

            This idea of “rawness” and “connection” can be in the form of writing, art, or mediums of artistic expression. Chasing an elusive algorithm stretches the majority of us thin―we are at the center of a thread just before the tension forces us to snap. Algorithms do not appreciate rawness; they seek clones of keywords, viral topics, and rage-filled titles. The formula is the same, and it drives disconnection from fellow humans and their capabilities.

            I have been in the throes of limiting social media use for years now, and I now accept that I only truly love a couple of simple online communities―but, much prefer the real and genuine connection of actual people. I realized this totally after meeting and interacting with artists from my local horror convention, joining three book clubs with friends from wildly different walks of life, and being pushed to tears by an incredibly talented student of mine whose poetry genuinely gives me chills. What are we doing wasting away on metaphysical platforms designed to question our allegiances?

            The beauty of human creation for the sake of human connection, empathy, art, understanding, and cooperation is rejuvenating. It is the crystal water we desire in a desert of polluted circuits, wires, and data.

            It is time to move on to greener pastures, clearer seas, and taller mountains. It is time to unplug the circuits and sunset the outlets. It is time to shrug off the fiber optics and dim the blue lights. As we might say, but often never practice what we preach, it is time to touch grass.

            So, now I write with the intention to process and explore with even just one soul a day. It is time to move on to greener pastures….

Daily writing prompt

In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled?

View all responses